I’m so glad you’ve been patient with me. Ever since I revealed that I was diagnosed with Cancer I keep hearing how “Strong” I am. At first I was baffled, “Where is this strength that people are seeing?” This is really just me. I would sit and listen and then stare at my reflection and look and look and try and see this strength everyone else was seeing.
The fact is this woman cries, gets frustrated and throws tantrums. This woman absolutely gets afraid when she lays down to sleep and a voice says, “What if?”.
I started feeling like maybe I was being a fraud. Was I projecting something that I am not? Was I showing people a side of me that was untrue? I love to be authentic so it bothered me and I spoke to my friends and family. Their responses confirmed that I wasn’t being a fraud but that my strength was seen by my pushing through no matter what.
You see, I had found different wells of strength within myself and others could see that. Whether, it was through prayer, vlogging, smiling, sharing or feeding off of the love of my family and friends I refused to let this diagnosis hold me down and that is what they and others have been talking about. Yes, I have bad days and I get frustrated but the determination is there to push thru and that is strength.
So how do I find strength? I do what I have to do. I think positive, I pray, I sit in silence, I cry, I avoid negativity or I share my feelings with my family and friends. There is no one way to find strength especially in times of despair, you simply dig deep and do what you need to do in order to get on the other side of what is happening and that’s what I’m doing.
So if you are pushing thru something and sometimes doubt your strength, don’t. Think of how you’ve been able to absorb what’s happening, adjust and kept moving. That’s not a simple thing. Just so you know, each day you wake up and decided to try, makes you a freaking superhero and that’s a pretty big deal.
Faith & Love,