A couple of years ago Ciara 1, 2, stepped out of Future’s ongoing cycle of endless baby mothers and outright toxic behaviour to find herself a seemingly Prince Charming in Russell Wilson. Now Cassie has left her on and off again boyfriend Diddy to land into the arms of model, entrepreneur and trainer Adam Fine. Since then both women have been flourishing, Ciara’s glow is almost ethereal and Cassie literally just got engaged and is preparing to be a first time mother. All in all everything is GOOD over here.

What strikes me though is that every time Russell does something nice for Ciara women are always commenting ” tell us the prayer you said to get him” or “Oh I need me a Russell” but truth be told this wasn’t always the case. When Ciara grabbed little future and hightailed it out of there she was somewhat vilified, men resented her for moving on and women said she was selfish for taking the child. Similarly, when Cassie left Diddy, it was right before the catastrophic death of his one true love Kim Porter. He was a wreck but she provided comfort at a respectable level. When she announced her new boyfriend people looked for reasons to hate her. However, the hate didn’t stick both women knew what they wanted and what they didn’t want. In time, the public had to respect it, they had to admit that both were better off having gone.

This leads me to the meat of the matter. How many of us have had enough and know exactly what we want? I’m sure you said a quiet “Me” awhile ago BUT are you brave enough to leave the excitement of the Futures’ and the Diddys’ to find a stable and loving Russell? Don’t get me wrong, I know about the men we meet who seem dope at first but then we come to the realization that they’re baking soda. The pretenders, the fakes, the low budget Russell Wilsons’ who talk a good talk but have no legs to walk the walk. In fact, I would even go so far as to say that these types of men were classic cases of oneitis. You know, the type of man who falls head over heels in love and then becomes overly clingy? They are EVERYWHERE and frankly, running defense can get tiresome so you decide to stick to the evil you know. However, let’s say that you do meet your Russell Wilson or Adam Fine can you say that you’re really ready?

A friend of mine once told me that the universe keeps sending you a lesson until you learn it. So the next time you’re daydreaming about escaping toxicity and getting your fairy tale movie kind of love, check yourself. Make sure you’re not out here trying to turn the Futures into Russells and Kraft singles into Brie .