Hey Guys, One of the earliest things I can remember when growing up was how my grandmother, father, mother and almost every grown up would tell me to put my shoulders back and keep my head up. I mean this was even in casual conversation, they’d stop mid-sentence and correct my posture. To them it was a reminder to walk with pride, look where you are going and not be distracted. This was such a simple thing that I learned but it was drilled into me to the point it has stuck with me throughout life. I’ll be sitting slouched or holding my head down and i’ll hear a voice “Chel, hold up yuh head nuh man”. Sometimes in a room of people, or in a room alone i’ll automatically adjust my posture and smile. Since doing my double mastectomy I’ve had to remember to stay focused and not be distracted. As discussed in my last vlog after the surgery putting your shoulders back is not so easy, the discomfort compared to the lumpectomy sure is.. different. I will honestly say it is way more painful than the lumpectomy and though it was discussed and expected I still cannot get […]
The post Shoulders Back: Double Mastectomy Recovery first appeared on Mamachel.com.]]>Hey Guys,
One of the earliest things I can remember when growing up was how my grandmother, father, mother and almost every grown up would tell me to put my shoulders back and keep my head up. I mean this was even in casual conversation, they’d stop mid-sentence and correct my posture. To them it was a reminder to walk with pride, look where you are going and not be distracted.
This was such a simple thing that I learned but it was drilled into me to the point it has stuck with me throughout life. I’ll be sitting slouched or holding my head down and i’ll hear a voice “Chel, hold up yuh head nuh man”. Sometimes in a room of people, or in a room alone i’ll automatically adjust my posture and smile. Since doing my double mastectomy I’ve had to remember to stay focused and not be distracted. As discussed in my last vlog after the surgery putting your shoulders back is not so easy, the discomfort compared to the lumpectomy sure is.. different.
I will honestly say it is way more painful than the lumpectomy and though it was discussed and expected I still cannot get used to sleeping on my back. However, what I want to talk about is the feeling of being in reverse, the medications – again, the pain – again, the drains- again, the inability to raise my arms above my head- again and so much more-again.
There is a mental strength that is needed to repeat these things and remain positive. Though I know it’s for my own good, I can’t help but be annoyed with having to stop the gym and be “weak” again. But WE MOVE.
Nevertheless, negativity is never the way, this thing literally feeds off stress and negativity so I focus on the positives and that is almost always LOVE.
Major shout outs to Keri who flew from NYC to stay with me for two weeks just to ensure I had help after the surgery and my other friends Shani and Sanya who provided my convoy to the surgery , VIP style ( lolol) and any other help after the operation. The people who stuck through Chemo, where present once again (no surprise there) Tara, Davina, Bran, Trev, Kimmie, Renee, Yan, Charms, Dre and without any hesitation MY FAMILY <3 . Anyone else I forgot to mention, I know I’ve thanked you personally. My heart swells every time I think of how my team just doesn’t play about me.
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again my friends are top notch. There were those who came and watched tv with me on Sundays after Keri left to ensure I didn’t feel alone and prayed for me before and after the surgery . My family, who picked me up and mom who came by and wiped out the house because I was going crazy with not being able to clean (how the turn tables lol). The prayer warriors who lifted me up, the clients who knew and were understanding and every single person that sent me flowers. There was and continues to be so much love. It is this bubble of love that allows me to be vulnerable with no shame while being stronger than ever before.
So, no matter how stressed out I might feel and annoyed I am with having to push through yet another hard segment in this fight I am once again reminded by my friends and family to put my shoulders back, hold my head up, walk with pride and never get distracted.
Faith & Love,
Chelan
The post Shoulders Back: Double Mastectomy Recovery first appeared on Mamachel.com.]]>Hey Guys, Welcome to another episode of my life or as my friends refer to it “Never a dull moment”. It’s been two weeks since my double mastectomy, scratch that I sat down two weeks ago to write this but its been a month and some weeks since that operation. As usual I had so many plans on how I would recover and how I would document the journey but baybeee let me tell you; I was wrong. Funny enough, having gone through a lumpectomy, chemotherapy and radiation I truly felt like a veteran on the battlefield, again I was wrong. This new part of the journey started when my oncologist encouraged me to do a genetics test to see the likelihood of a recurrence. Two years ago when I had started the journey it was discussed but we opted to hold off on it until after because it wouldn’t have changed the treatment options for me and it was like $500 USD ( every mickle mek a muckle and it wasn’t immediate). However, after treatment to help determine how we’d monitor the situation, I had to do it and honestly I’m glad that I did. I was diagnosed with […]
The post Never a Dull Moment : Li Fraumeni Syndrome first appeared on Mamachel.com.]]>Hey Guys,
Welcome to another episode of my life or as my friends refer to it “Never a dull moment”.
It’s been two weeks since my double mastectomy, scratch that I sat down two weeks ago to write this but its been a month and some weeks since that operation. As usual I had so many plans on how I would recover and how I would document the journey but baybeee let me tell you; I was wrong. Funny enough, having gone through a lumpectomy, chemotherapy and radiation I truly felt like a veteran on the battlefield, again I was wrong. This new part of the journey started when my oncologist encouraged me to do a genetics test to see the likelihood of a recurrence. Two years ago when I had started the journey it was discussed but we opted to hold off on it until after because it wouldn’t have changed the treatment options for me and it was like $500 USD ( every mickle mek a muckle and it wasn’t immediate).
However, after treatment to help determine how we’d monitor the situation, I had to do it and honestly I’m glad that I did. I was diagnosed with Li Fraumeni syndrome a rare disorder that greatly increases the risk of developing several types of cancer, particularly in children and young adults. *The cancers most often associated with Li-Fraumeni syndrome include breast cancer, a form of bone cancer called osteosarcoma, and cancers of soft tissues. I wont lie when they told me I was like , you have got to be kidding me but as usual I wanted to know immediately how do we fix this?
That’s when the researcher called me and discussed key points with me:
1. There’s NO CURE for this ( Bruh)
2. The only options are increased monitoring so instead of one mammogram i’d do two, the next option a preventative double mastectomy.
3. I have to avoid a US diet that means, no dairy, no sugar, no red meat none of that delicious stuff ( I was already doing this but now I had to be even more strict).
Presented with these options I was like ok, I can keep monitoring and being healthy. At least that what I thought. What changed gradually was I started having immense anxiety, every. single. month. I’d have a mini panic attack that my right breast felt weird or some part of my body was not functioning how it used it. Just to give it some context, the document I got said Li Fraumeni had a 80 or so chance of presenting a NEW cancer in my right breast or could recur in my left breast .. A proper shit show for me and my anxiety.
After speaking to my family and my doctor we started leaning towards the double mastectomy, I was just holding on everyday but the anxiety was getting to the point that they were noticing it. So, for peace of mind and overall health I started seriously discussing removing my girls. There is nothing harder than making such a big decision on a “what if” but honestly, the odds were not in my favour. As I readied myself I remembered my friend Tara’s words to me two years ago ” It’s your breasts or your life, get it together”. Here I was repeating those words to myself, I should’ve listened.
So, after several consultations with Dr. Royes ( he did my lumpectomy), Dr. Venugopal (plastic surgeon) and Dr. Sheray Chin (my Oncologist) I started the process to do a double mastectomy. You can check out my Vlog of the journey here:
*https://medlineplus.gov/genetics/condition/li-fraumeni-syndrome/
Here's my K Drama list for all those who love great plots, excellent cinematography , superb acting and are not afraid of subtitles.
The post Korean Drama Edition: Quarantine and Chill first appeared on Mamachel.com.]]>Hey Guys,
It’s been awhile! Life has been pretty hectic (I’ll touch on that later) but one thing i’ve been doing is keeping myself entertained with Korean Dramas. Guys, I started watching K Dramas during chemotherapy and never stopped, they’re addictive like that. So, If you’ve gone through my previous lists and aren’t afraid of subtitles, love a good plot and cinematography that takes your breath away then these shows are for you. I’m going to try and break them down into categories so you can choose easily.
HISTORICAL:- Raise your hand if you’ve been personally traumatized by the Joseon era… (Just kidding) but this is not for the weak. You will find action, romance, love, and subterfuge. Please be warned, even if you get a happy finale, I can’t promise you that you wont be hella stressed along the way. Nevertheless, it’s absolutely worth it.
I genuinely feel as if I’ve watched way more historical themed shows but those are top of mind right now. Next up is
REVENGE:- Revenge is a dish best served cold and these shows will fill you right up! Full of twists and turns and formidable villains you’ll be on the edge of your seat trying to figure out the next move. When I tell you I GENUINELY
ROMANCE: – Who does romance and romantic comedy like K Dramas? Nobody! Lol. Let’s just put it out there, some are a rollercoaster and you are going to be on a ride BUT the following are all great shows that brought me some form of joy
To say that life has changed would be an understatement, long after completing chemotherapy you still have to go through tests and doctor visits and although I can manage the anxiety surrounding the results much better now, I wouldn’t wish the prodding and poking on anyone.
The post Life After Chemo- What I’ve Been Up To first appeared on Mamachel.com.]]>Howdy!, As you might know there are certain days that women feel strongly about such as, birthdays, valentine’s day and Christmas. It’s always been a societal norm for women to be wined and dined, given flowers and jewelry much to the chagrin of broke men (just kidding). I am a firm believer in treating your partner right and that this goes both ways. As a result, I am always encouraging men to sound off on what they may want so for Valentine’s Day I asked because I know they want other things than a pair socks or a tie; I wasn’t wrong. If this list doesn’t move you, you can check out the Christmas List for Men and maybe take something from there. Now, before I get into this list I must say that these gifts seemed a bit Christmasy and birthday ish more than Valentine’s but I am just the messenger. Maybe consider an experience you can do as a couple, or get something personalised that celebrates your time together, such as a first date star chart or a pair of custom t-shirts with all of your favourite memories printed on it. Without further ado, here are what men […]
The post Valentine’s Gifts Men want first appeared on Mamachel.com.]]>Howdy!,
As you might know there are certain days that women feel strongly about such as, birthdays, valentine’s day and Christmas. It’s always been a societal norm for women to be wined and dined, given flowers and jewelry much to the chagrin of broke men (just kidding). I am a firm believer in treating your partner right and that this goes both ways. As a result, I am always encouraging men to sound off on what they may want so for Valentine’s Day I asked because I know they want other things than a pair socks or a tie; I wasn’t wrong. If this list doesn’t move you, you can check out the Christmas List for Men and maybe take something from there.
Now, before I get into this list I must say that these gifts seemed a bit Christmasy and birthday ish more than Valentine’s but I am just the messenger. Maybe consider an experience you can do as a couple, or get something personalised that celebrates your time together, such as a first date star chart or a pair of custom t-shirts with all of your favourite memories printed on it. Without further ado, here are what men tell us they want for Valentine’s Day…
MEN! What do you want for Valentine’s Day?
– Mamachell (@mamachell) January 31, 2021
New septum rings, swim trunks, awning attachment for my van, steaks, my axes sharpened, scuba diving lessons.
– Dmitri Dawkins (@utenjm) January 31, 2021
A deep tissue massage, and a nice dinner date. ðŸ˜
– Steven≠(@ofmonsters_) February 1, 2021
A fun activity date what will leave us laughing more than anything else.
– War Plummer Titan (@VaginaCrunchBar) February 1, 2021
1. Drive out of Kingston (leaving Kingston instantly relaxes me)
– Andrew Brown (@drewpuddy) January 31, 2021
2. Lunch at Summer House, Harmony Hall
3. My car service paid for
4. John Hardy bracelet pic.twitter.com/d2kjO9As0H
Other gift requests:
It was alot of responses and some more detailed than others but Cologne, Massage and watch remains at the top of the list. If you want to see the complete responses just click on the embedded tweets and it should take you to the thread.
I hope this helped! Comment and let me know
Faith & Love,
Chelan
The post Valentine’s Gifts Men want first appeared on Mamachel.com.]]>Hi Guys! A part of post chemo treatment is experiencing a little bit of food paranoia. I can’t just snack on any and anything and that can be so frustrating. Nevertheless, I have decided to try and make this journey as fun as possible and so I’ve started identifying what healthy foods I like and how to make it. Enter hummus, I absolutely love humus and it has been a staple snack for me throughout treatment so I decided to try it first. Here I am trying to make it. It’s not as smooth and perfect but it was a fun experience. If you try it please remember to let me know. Faith and Love, Chelan
The post Easy Hummus Recipe first appeared on Mamachel.com.]]>Hi Guys!
A part of post chemo treatment is experiencing a little bit of food paranoia. I can’t just snack on any and anything and that can be so frustrating. Nevertheless, I have decided to try and make this journey as fun as possible and so I’ve started identifying what healthy foods I like and how to make it. Enter hummus, I absolutely love humus and it has been a staple snack for me throughout treatment so I decided to try it first. Here I am trying to make it.
It’s not as smooth and perfect but it was a fun experience.
If you try it please remember to let me know.
Faith and Love,
Chelan
The post Easy Hummus Recipe first appeared on Mamachel.com.]]>What it do baybeeeeee! How has everyone been? Hopefully, you are safely tucked inside, social distancing, wearing your masks and adhering to the rules of your country. If you are stuck inside, then chances are, like me you’ve blown thru all of my suggestions (I’ll relink them below) and now feel as if you have watched the whole of Netflix and every other streaming site under the sun or you’re just in need of some new suggestions. Before you move forward, double check that you have watched all of the suggested shows below. Top 6 Spy Shows to Watch Quarantine & Chill Show List Creepy Shows to Complete your Halloween Now that you’ve gone thru that let’s get unto business. Some (a few) of these will be repeats because they are my favourites and there are some new shows that we have to get into. In order to avoid any judgement (lol), I wont indicate how many of these I have actually watched myself. However, in my defense I needed to be entertain while undergoing chemo. Anyways, let’s get into it: Netflix: Every time I feel like I have watched all of Netflix, some new shows pop up! Can you […]
The post Quarantine & Chill Show List Part 2 first appeared on Mamachel.com.]]>What it do baybeeeeee!
How has everyone been? Hopefully, you are safely tucked inside, social distancing, wearing your masks and adhering to the rules of your country. If you are stuck inside, then chances are, like me you’ve blown thru all of my suggestions (I’ll relink them below) and now feel as if you have watched the whole of Netflix and every other streaming site under the sun or you’re just in need of some new suggestions. Before you move forward, double check that you have watched all of the suggested shows below.
Now that you’ve gone thru that let’s get unto business. Some (a few) of these will be repeats because they are my favourites and there are some new shows that we have to get into. In order to avoid any judgement (lol), I wont indicate how many of these I have actually watched myself. However, in my defense I needed to be entertain while undergoing chemo. Anyways, let’s get into it:
Netflix: Every time I feel like I have watched all of Netflix, some new shows pop up! Can you imagine if I had access to the US feed?
Emily In Paris – or Paris in Emily – Just joking. A modern day twist on Sex and The City except the city is Paris! A fun, coming of age romantic comedy that allows us the opportunity to watch the main character grow both in love and career. Also, can we get into the scenery and wardrobe *chef’s kiss*
Bridgerton- Premiering at the end of 2020 and the first installment of Shondaland for Netflix was truly the diamond of the series season. Based off Julia Quinn’s books which follows the eight Bridgerton siblings as they maneuver high society. Dubbed the Gossip girl of the Regency era, Duke Hastings will surely let you want to …. promenade.
Sweet Magnolias – Now that I know season 2 has been green lit I can begin rejoicing! Sweet Magnolias is a lovely drama about friendship. I actually began watching it during chemotherapy and it gave me a warm and fuzzy feeling inside. It happens to cover a host of topics like parenting, coparenting, relationships and teenage angst without being cliche. I cannot wait for the premiere.
Virgin River- If you love Sweet Magnolias then you’ll love Virgin River! When a LA doctor experiences tragedy she moves to Virgin River an off the map beauty but tightly knit town. She encounters some fun characters and even seems to have another chance at love. Oh, I am absolutely NOT team Charlene!
Blood & Water – Transferring schools can be hard enough but imagine transferring to a school where the popular girl might be your sister who was abducted at birth. Whew! That was a mouthful! Set in beautiful Cape Town, this show is intriguing and showcases some fresh new talent coming out of Africa.
The Queen’s Gambit- Network description: When winning takes everything, what are you left with? The Queen’s Gambit follows a young chess prodigy’s rise from an orphanage to the world stage. But genius comes with a cost. A riveting adaptation of Walter Tevis’ groundbreaking novel
Tiny Pretty Things- Do not sleep on this show. You get murder mystery, dance, mean girls and to add a little razzle dazzle – romance. Based on the book by Sona Charaipotra and Dhonielle Clayton, Tiny Pretty Things shows what happens when a regular but talented ballet dancer enters the world of an elite dance school.
Outer Banks- This show came out of left field in a good way! Set in the outer banks of North Carolina known as the Pogues, John B is obsessed with finding out what happened to his father and the treasure that he was hunting when he disappeared. In a small town secrets get uncovered and things get crazy.
Star Trek Discovery- Easily one of my fave series to watch and blow my mind with imagination and what ifs. Many trekkies gave it a hard time when it just came out but this show has gotten better each series. Give it a try.
Cursed- If you like medieval fantasy then you’ll love cursed. It’s a spin on the King Arthur Legend. It follows Nimue a young girl who has special powers on the run as magic is outlawed. You’ll get all the things you love but slightly different like the lady of the lake, sword of power but it’ll be worth it. Also, special mention to Gustaf Skarsgård of Vikings fame (Floki) who also stars in this. Love it.
Warrior Nun- Ancient battles between good and evil? Nuns and Guns? Secret orders and a young lady coming back from the dead? Sign me up! This has the potential to become a real fan favourite.
Locke & Key- I started watching this but will admit that I’m a scaredy cat and not being able to finish it but if you’re a lover of supernatural , horror then this is right up your alley. Network description: Following their father’s murder, three siblings move into a house filled with reality-bending keys; from the comics by Joe Hill and Gabriel Rodriguez.
Ratched- It stars Sarah Paulson working in a psychiatric hospital, do I really need to go any further? The cinematography is top notch and the plot is insane. Sarah Paulson plays Nurse Ratched who seems semi normal int he beginning but has a dark secret. IF you like horror then this is for you!
Dracula- Inspired by Bram Stoker’s Dracula this adaptation was great watch. Scary? Absolutely but instead of making Dracula this untouchable immortal it shows the count wanting to take over the world but bucking up on some bad ass nuns who take no prisoners.
The Witcher- Henry Cavil as Geralt was what we needed in 2020. Sexiness aside, Geralt is a bounty hunter for monsters who have mutated. Nevertheless, they turn out to be not as dangerous as the people he comes in contact with. It is based on the book series of the same name by Polish writer Andrzej Sapkowski.
The Old Guard- I’m breaking my rules here, this wasn’t a series BUT it should have been! Charlize Theron, kicked ass and the storyline was great. Network description: Forever is harder than it looks. Led by a warrior named Andy (Charlize Theron), a covert group of tight-knit mercenaries with a mysterious inability to die have fought to protect the mortal world for centuries. But when the team is recruited to take on an emergency mission and their extraordinary abilities are suddenly exposed, it’s up to Andy and Nile (Kiki Layne), the newest soldier to join their ranks, to help the group eliminate the threat.
Netflix Outside the U.S.A –
Lupin (FRANCE)- This was so good! Network description: Inspired by the adventures of Arsène Lupin, gentleman thief Assane Diop sets out to avenge his father for an injustice inflicted by a wealthy family.
Ertugrul Grazi (Turkey)- I happened upon this show by accident and have not been able to stop watching. If you are looking for binge-worthy historical tv then this is it. The seasons have over 60 episodes (I am dead serious) but there’s a lot of action and it tells the story of the Father of the Ottoman Empire.
Hache (Spain)- This is like a sexier Queen of The South. Set in the 1960s a prostitute named Helena is admired and loved by a heroin cartel boss. She eventually learns the tricks of the trades and begins moving up the ranks. I thoroughly enjoyed this show and cannot wait for season 2 to come out.
Marcella (Britain)- When my friends and I discuss Marcella we say,”Marcella is one Mad Mad Gal”. On a serious note Marcella is a detective show set in london and starts off with the discovery of a child’s body. The twists and turns that take place will definitely have you on the edge of your seat.
Bordertown (Finland)- I happened upon this show by accident. Going thru chemotherapy I ran thru shows really quickly and ended up on finnish netflix, I was not disappointed. A finnish crime drama set with nordic noir style follow Inspector Kari who is a very talented detective. He ends up solving and taking on some interesting cases.
Ragnorak (Norway)- If you’re into norse mythology then this is the show for you. It is Norwegian but the subtitles and plot are easy to follow. It touches on climate change in the town of Edda and they need someone to save the planet. Enter a mysterious young man who seems to wield power similar to Thor but isn’t sure what is going on.
Suburra: Blood on Rome(Italy)- Network description- Inspired by a real-life political scandal, “Suburra: Blood on Rome” features a fight over development land in a coastal town near Rome. The church, political figures, members of organized crime, local gangs and real estate developers all collide in the battle, with the lines between the legal and the illicit being blurred. The various entities involved are all on a quest for power, but not everyone can achieve that goal. The series is based on a book of the same name.
Fauda(Israel)- This show is no joke a retired member of the defense force Doron is roped back into tracking down a nemesis he thought his team had killed. Their cover ends up being blown and they have to save themselves and their families all while hunting down this known terrorist.
Amazon:
Goliath- Billy McBride, a disgraced lawyer, agrees to take on a wrongful death lawsuit in hopes of getting revenge on the firm he helped create.
McMafia- I am so tired of waiting on season 2 BUT I will continue waiting because it is THAT good! Alex, a legitimate businessman, tries to evade his family’s dark past. However, a murder exposes his family’s mafia ties and he has to enter the world of crime to protect his loved ones.
The Boys – Supes have been committing atrocities, which keep getting swept under the rug because they are revered by the adoring public. Billy Butcher recruits The Boys who have all been wronged by The Seven, the world’s most notorious superheroes, to bring them down and stop the corruption. Based on the best-selling comics by Garth Ennis, The Boys is a revenge story where the nobodies take on the somebodies.
Vikings- The second part of season 6 is now up and that means the Viking voyage is officially complete. When I tell you I bawled like a baby because I have been following these guys, from history books to History channel, to Netflix and now Amazon. SKULL!
Alex Rider – Giving me a Kingsman vibe but pretty good! He’s a teenage spy and his mission is to find out what happened to his father AND to save the world
Special Mentions: These are great shows I just not in a bulk/bundle like the others
The Mandalorian (Disney+)- After the defeat of the Empire at the hands of Rebel forces, a lone bounty hunter operating in the Outer Rim, away from the dominion of the New Republic, goes on many surprising and risky adventures.
Warrior(HBOMax)- This is based off Bruce Lee writings. It is a very good show with excellent martial arts, plot and acting. It’s a stellar cast and truly deserves a second season. In San Francisco, California, Ah Sahm, a martial arts prodigy from China, leads a colourful life as he becomes a hatchet man for a powerful tong.
Industry (HBO)- A group of young graduates compete for permanent positions at a top investment bank in London, but the boundaries between colleague, friend, lover, and enemy soon blur as they immerse themselves in their new world.
The Undoing (HBO)- Nicole Kidman and Hugh Grant as Grace and Jonathan Fraser, who are living the only lives they ever wanted for themselves. Overnight a chasm opens in their lives: a violent death and a chain of terrible revelations.
Tehran (Apple TV)- From the creators of Fauda (which I linked above on Netflix). An Israeli Mossad agent infiltrates Iran. But when her mission goes wrong, there’s no way out.
I hope this new list helps you to find some new shows to binge!
Faith & Love,
Chelan
The post Quarantine & Chill Show List Part 2 first appeared on Mamachel.com.]]>Hi Guys, I can’t even begin to layout the amount of times I’ve started writing this blog and simply stopped. It’s not that I don’t have the energy or the time, it’s just that everything that I have to go over is so mentally taxing. Nevertheless, you guys have ridden with me so far and have always been understanding and patient and i’ve been fortified by left over Christmas dinner and sorrel… here goes nothing. Praise God, I have successfully completed chemotherapy and radiation and now only have targeted therapy every 3 weeks for a year. So, based on when I began I should be finished with that around April, May-ish. There are very few side effects with targeted therapy, however, I am still feeling some effects from radiation and chemo. Things like insomnia, hot flashes (the absolute pits), nerve damage in fingers and feet, joint pain, skin damage, brain fog, and tiredness are the most immediate and blatant ones. All in all, these really aren’t bad, what I mean is the joint pains could be worse and although I sound like an 85yr old every time I get up from the couch, I am managing. I know that some […]
The post The Fight Within first appeared on Mamachel.com.]]>Hi Guys,
I can’t even begin to layout the amount of times I’ve started writing this blog and simply stopped. It’s not that I don’t have the energy or the time, it’s just that everything that I have to go over is so mentally taxing. Nevertheless, you guys have ridden with me so far and have always been understanding and patient and i’ve been fortified by left over Christmas dinner and sorrel… here goes nothing.
Praise God, I have successfully completed chemotherapy and radiation and now only have targeted therapy every 3 weeks for a year. So, based on when I began I should be finished with that around April, May-ish. There are very few side effects with targeted therapy, however, I am still feeling some effects from radiation and chemo. Things like insomnia, hot flashes (the absolute pits), nerve damage in fingers and feet, joint pain, skin damage, brain fog, and tiredness are the most immediate and blatant ones. All in all, these really aren’t bad, what I mean is the joint pains could be worse and although I sound like an 85yr old every time I get up from the couch, I am managing. I know that some people in my situation need to use relieving treatments like medical marijuana, which can be found over here, I just haven’t decided yet if I want to. It is something that needs proper thought on my end. The skin damage is also not that bad, compared to some that I saw when I was researching for reference. So, in true Jamaican fashion I say, “Things coulda worse”
What I will tell you, is that what is kicking my ass like a kung fu masterclass is what you can’t see i.e. The ANXIETY, the paranoia, the loneliness. Let’s break it down, I am consistently anxious, there are moments of reprieve but if things get too quiet my brain starts to work overtime and yes, I pray, yes, I meditate, I listen to singing bowls, and my CBD oil just finished. I might need to look at Everybody CBD oils or other similar oils that might be a good fit for a restock. I’m learning to work through it and not be too hard on myself. This brings me into paranoia, the saying you are what you eat bounces around my head every single time I enjoy something that’s not healthy. I think this is my hardest battle and I know it’s trauma but whew child can I enjoy a slice of cake?! I have spoken to other survivors and even my doctor tells me to not be paranoid and that I can enjoy in moderation. However, for a chronic over-thinker like me, what exactly is moderate? I’ve decided i’m going to have an indulge calendar that outlines when I can have the things I shouldn’t lol. Now to touch on the loneliness, I am LOVED, my family and friends are there and that is never a question. However, there’s a feeling of alone that comes with this experience and all the vocabulary in the world won’t help me to articulate it the way that would make others understand. It’s the little pieces of you that you know are missing after such a fight. It’s the quiet panic when you wonder if you’ll ever find those pieces again.
Each day I take pride in the small things and these are really simple things, such as allowing myself to plan for NEXT Christmas, using the hashtag #CancerSurvivor and believing it. To others that’s no big deal but to me, it’s whole heap. The biggest battles are never from the ones that others see, you know your strength from the fights when you have to cheer yourself. That is when you learn your true power.
Faith and Love,
Chelan
The post The Fight Within first appeared on Mamachel.com.]]>So A lot has happened since my last post and video. Here’s a quick update via my vlog of all that’s happening with me and my Cancer journey. Faith & Love, Mamachel
The post My Cancer Journey: A Quick Update! first appeared on Mamachel.com.]]>So A lot has happened since my last post and video. Here’s a quick update via my vlog of all that’s happening with me and my Cancer journey.
Faith & Love,
Mamachel
The post My Cancer Journey: A Quick Update! first appeared on Mamachel.com.]]>Hi Guys, I’m so glad you’ve been patient with me. Ever since I revealed that I was diagnosed with Cancer I keep hearing how “Strong” I am. At first I was baffled, “Where is this strength that people are seeing?” This is really just me. I would sit and listen and then stare at my reflection and look and look and try and see this strength everyone else was seeing. The fact is this woman cries, gets frustrated and throws tantrums. This woman absolutely gets afraid when she lays down to sleep and a voice says, “What if?”. I started feeling like maybe I was being a fraud. Was I projecting something that I am not? Was I showing people a side of me that was untrue? I love to be authentic so it bothered me and I spoke to my friends and family. Their responses confirmed that I wasn’t being a fraud but that my strength was seen by my pushing through no matter what. You see, I had found different wells of strength within myself and others could see that. Whether, it was through prayer, vlogging, smiling, sharing or feeding off of the love of my family and […]
The post Finding Strength first appeared on Mamachel.com.]]>Hi Guys,
I’m so glad you’ve been patient with me. Ever since I revealed that I was diagnosed with Cancer I keep hearing how “Strong” I am. At first I was baffled, “Where is this strength that people are seeing?” This is really just me. I would sit and listen and then stare at my reflection and look and look and try and see this strength everyone else was seeing.
The fact is this woman cries, gets frustrated and throws tantrums. This woman absolutely gets afraid when she lays down to sleep and a voice says, “What if?”.
I started feeling like maybe I was being a fraud. Was I projecting something that I am not? Was I showing people a side of me that was untrue? I love to be authentic so it bothered me and I spoke to my friends and family. Their responses confirmed that I wasn’t being a fraud but that my strength was seen by my pushing through no matter what.
You see, I had found different wells of strength within myself and others could see that. Whether, it was through prayer, vlogging, smiling, sharing or feeding off of the love of my family and friends I refused to let this diagnosis hold me down and that is what they and others have been talking about. Yes, I have bad days and I get frustrated but the determination is there to push thru and that is strength.
So how do I find strength? I do what I have to do. I think positive, I pray, I sit in silence, I cry, I avoid negativity or I share my feelings with my family and friends. There is no one way to find strength especially in times of despair, you simply dig deep and do what you need to do in order to get on the other side of what is happening and that’s what I’m doing.
So if you are pushing thru something and sometimes doubt your strength, don’t. Think of how you’ve been able to absorb what’s happening, adjust and kept moving. That’s not a simple thing. Just so you know, each day you wake up and decided to try, makes you a freaking superhero and that’s a pretty big deal.
Faith & Love,
Mamachel
The post Finding Strength first appeared on Mamachel.com.]]>