I wrote this awhile ago. I’ve kept it for when I finally feel like pressing send. Chances are by time I do make it public I would’ve had surgery already It’s the weekend before my surgery and I swear I’m having an out of body experience, everything is so surreal. I’ve prepared as much as possible and I’ve spent today cleaning and getting my apartment in order so when I get back it’ll be tidy. Cleaning might seem normal but this is important, this is something I can actually control and these days when I literally am just in a cycle of waiting, I’ll take whatever control I can get.…