Accepting Responsibility – Deliberately Losing Love?


Hey Guys,

< insert usual apologies for not writing so long> I had originally planned to write a post titled “I’m Ready” where I would talk about how I am ready for love. However, as I sit here listening to my new playlist I decided to switch it up and talk about my taking responsibility for not yet finding love

Let me start off by saying if you’re expecting a self deprecating post on all that is wrong with me you can close this very window and continue enjoying the playlist. Sure, we are all with our faults and I have indicated that throughout all my posts. No one is perfect. Nevertheless, I want to focus on the one question that irks me more than a werewolf’s toenails and that’s ” So why are you single?”. I have been asked this on dates, by family and even by well meaning friends. If I’m being honest it takes the power of grey skull not to respond ” If I knew that answer I wouldn’t be now would I”. The truth is I had no clue.
Well, my epiphany came quite randomly as they often do. Someone asked in my tumblr ask box ” What would you like right now?” I responded in my usual smart ass way – ” to eat without getting fat, world peace and love… I think I’m ready for love”
Just like that it hit me. All these no good, ain’t shit gentlemen (oxymorons abound) were drawn to me because I myself was NOT ready. Therefore, in essence I was deliberately losing love. Choosing the ones that I knew KNEW deep down in my very core to my bone marrow would not pan out in the very end. I sabotaged myself. I was having a conversation with Bonnie recently and she said ” look at the boyfriends we have had, how we have treated them and how we ALLOWED then to treat us”. Right then, right there it hit me that I had to accept responsibility for my role in all these “failed relationships”. As a result of not being honest with myself I prevented men who wished me well from entering my life. There was no huge philosophic meaning it was simply, When it came to love I was my own worst enemy.
Don’t get me wrong it wasn’t that the men weren’t assholes (if you’re reading this that’s your assigned adjective- Asshole) it was just that I wasn’t ready for the good guy. The one who would consider and try and meet my needs. I wrote about it, I lamented on the lack of good guys but in the end. I knew and so first off ladies and gentlemen before you go into any form of relationship be honest with YOURSELF first. I recently was and what I know wholeheartedly is IM READY

P.S. Thanks for Reading guys! Love unu like cook food

Faith & Love,
Mamachel
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Author: Mamachel

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6 Comments

  1. And now you have me wondering if I myself am ready

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  2. lol you’re really something. Still I feel you on that and its true that a good amount of people end up with bfs/gfs who disappoint them in the end because that’s the kind of person they go for to begin with and do so repeatably. The most interesting part is when they do so and then try to stamp the “husband/wifey material” stamp on them. Just be true to yourself and know what you want and just go for it. If its not the ultimate thing just yet then make sure you know just what you are in for and don’t try to make it what it shouldn’t be.

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  3. Excellent post hon! I too had to do this…still kind of in the throes so I know it’s hard as hell. Congratulations on your new readiness girl love will find you. Sharing this with some of my girls asap! Thanks for putting it up.

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  4. Thanks for posting this. A bigger thank you for sharing that playlist! Not familiar with any of the artists but I’m loving every track!!! ๐Ÿ™‚

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    • I am very glad you like the music!!! ๐Ÿ™‚ Always makes me super happy when I can help ppl discover tracks

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