Best Friends till the End like Chucky? <- Mars View
Okay I’ll admit it, I’m a Greys Anatomy fan. That being said I was eagre to see the Patrick Dempsey chick flick Made Of Honour in which he plays a once carefree playboy who is asked by his best friend (played by the beautiful Michelle Monaghan) to be the ‘maid of honour’ at her wedding. The only ‘other’ obvious problem with this scenario, is he now realizes that he has fallen head-over-heels for his gal pal. It got me thinking about all those stories of best buddies turned lifelong partners I’ve heard about about. In many cases the feeling is mutual, but others, lifelong friendships have been shattered when one party realizes they just don’t feel the same way about the other. This now begs the question, Should you tell your best friend you want to move from a platonic relationship to a romantic one?
Mars has mixed feeling where this is concerned, so we’ll try to break it down into the most important things to consider before making your decision.
1). Familiarity doesn’t over-ride caution. Even though you’ve been with her for what you consider most of your life, when it comes to emotions, you might not know her as well as you think you do. Knowing her favorite color or flavor ice-cream is a far cry from how she will react to situations of the heart. In these situations it’s not a bad idea to read, re-read and read again before making your decision.
It’s already a lot harder to negotiate matters of tangible interest with the ones you love, so imagine how difficult it will be when it comes to your emotions.
2). It’s also possible she feels the same way, but just doesn’t know it yet. Sometimes you’ve become so familiar with a situation it’s hard to see it as anything else. Rum and Coke may have never known they would make such a spectacular drink until one of them was bold enough to mix with the other. Sometimes it’s up to you as the individual to shake things up and see what could possibly surface.
3). Then there’s the all or nothing rule. Is it better to live the rest of your life not knowing what may have been, or risk it all for the off chance that she may feel the same way? As a poker player my first instinct would be to yell “Srew it, I’M ALL IN”… but many a player have done the same thing and left the table empty handed. While it is true that the man who saves his chips and folds on every play could possibly make it to the end of the game, he still risks going home empty handed.
Advice: The most important thing to remember before making this decision is to reassure your gal pal that if she doesn’t feel the same, you still value the friendship and want things to be as they were. In some cases a woman’s greatest fear is that she does give it a try, and if things don’t work, you risk destroying something sacred.This is by all means possible, but it’s up to the two of you to remember the strong foundation for which the relationship was built in the first place, and that’s friendship. So if you feel the need to err on the side of caution, there’s nothing wrong with playing it safe, but just remember, the greater the risk, the sweeter the rewards!