Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner: The Reason You are Single
Admin: Yes, this is a disclaimer… While I might agree with SOME of the opinions in this post.. Okay most of the opinions. I do believe that all manner of cussing should be directed to the author –> DNGeezy
I must say that although MOST of the advice was directed at females I do believe MEN could follow it also…
So you’re single and I’m guessing that you’ve either concocted a whole range of justifications for it or you are point blank clueless. Let me start by saying some nice things so that what is to follow might seem a little more palatable. The aim of this blog post is not to criticize or judge, or to single out a gender. However, you should bear in mind it is from a man’s perspective. I use the word ‘perspective’ because using the word ‘opinion’ might imply that the following isn’t raw fact and that I don’t actually know everything. As for the inevitable question, I am also single, but I know exactly why. It’s because I’m an antisocial workaholic asshole…..but this is about YOU, so let’s begin.
The people who consider themselves worthy of another person’s time, attention, affection, energy, resources etc. are likely to have a sense of self-worth. Being self-assured, secure and comfortable is certainly a healthy thing. Those who don’t have it should aim to acquire it. Yet, I think we live in an age where self-importance and self-interest are paramount. The human Ego is at an all-time high. A general sense of entitlement is through the roof. Humility and level-headedness don’t fly when most of us think we’re the sh*t. I get the sense that decades ago, our parents and their parents were of a different mentality, perhaps because sensationalism and ‘hype’ played far less of a role in their lives.
Nowadays, people not only overestimate their worth to someone else, but also are less keen on acknowledging who they really are. Quite simply, many don’t know who they are. They’re not even interested in knowing, because they are preoccupied with the mere idea of themselves. Now comes the blunt part.
Some of you are overweight or just fat. Being physically fit and maintaining a healthy body through dieting and exercise are not top priorities for you. Yet your man of choice is a Morris Chestnut type. Yea, or some other slim athletic looking guy who takes his physique seriously. What do you suppose are your chances here? It’s no coincidence that you’ll rarely find these types of couples out there. If you find one, chances are they’re freaky and he likes being smothered in bed or something.
Some of you are Party Girls or “Socialites” (woohoo). I’m not talking about the women who go out occasionally to have some fun. I’m talking about the “every pan knock”, “mi affi reach”, week after week day after day, event, party, club, bar scene type of girl… you all know them. They want someone who is stable, settled, responsible, and doesn’t have a bag of women. How do you suppose you’ll find him? And if you do, what are the chances of you being his type?
Some of you (men) are broke, financially, spiritually and otherwise. I can’t know under what circumstances you came to have less than many others do. Certainly, living in Jamaica we can all relate in some way to the predicament. Look man…finding a woman and maintaining a relationship requires resources. They don’t have to be all financial. Use your savvy, creativity and you might find the one who appreciates that. Sit there on your ass sayin’ “Psssssst” to the hot thing in the pencil skirt coming from work and you shall remain a boardman, I guarantee it.
Ever notice that it’s often the most selfish people who are usually clamoring to have someone spoil them? They will shout out loud asking “Where are all the Real Men?!” saying oh “Wheres the chivalry and the gentlemen and the blah blah”. The funny thing about clichés is that they are often spawned from truth. What you often attract to yourself, is quite likely what you are. If opposites do attract, it’s not likely they will stay together. The problem lies in the fact that many of you seek in others, what you either consciously or subconsciously perceive you lack in yourselves. When the better approach would be to sufficiently develop you first.
What a conundrum….except it actually isn’t.
I’ve always thought that those old people who you see sitting together on the verandah. The ones, who have been married (not always happily) for fifty years, are people who at some point stopped and took stock of who they are and who they are with. Each of them, at some point, shed the self-important, me first mentality and dedicated significant effort to not only being their partners match, but also to making the other’s life better above his or her own.
It’s not supposed to be easy, if it were, then many would be in successful relationships and the divorce rate would be lower and you wouldn’t be reading this thinking “aw sh*t, he has a point”. So here’s my asshole advice. Be cognizant, level-headed, self-assured, yet humble enough to take stock of who you are and tailor your tastes accordingly. If you need work, work on yourself. Don’t complain about what everybody else is doing. The better you make yourself is the better the person you will find yourself with. I guarantee it.
And that’s that … Feel free to comment 😀