It’s definitely been awhile since I have posted. The Scribe Gods knew that I was at a rough patch and sent my bredren Urchin to me. We were literally in the club when he said to me that he wanted to do some guest posts on my site from a male point of view. I’ll admit that I thought it was all drunk talk but true to his word here is his first post. This is only 1-5 as it’s part one. I have always talked about my many male friends who give me advice and tell me the secret thoughts of men, although I don’t always agree, I have definitely picked up some sage advice here and there. As a celebrity road manager he also gets to see the highs and lows of female behaviour. He’s gladly offered to share what men really think. Ladies get some insight after the jump
This may seem like an obvious one but trust me….women LIE during the dating process…more often with a combination of actions and inaction than with actual WORDS. I can’t tell you how many conversations I’ve had with female friends who go on 2nd, 3rd and even 4th dates with guys they admit they aren’t attracted to or find interesting in the least. When I ask why the responses vary from the greedy “I wanted to see what he would spend/where he would take me” to the naive “I thought I’d give him another chance” to the ignorant “I dunno…why not?”. This leads to the Man thinking that you like him and sexual expectations rise with each progressive date.
2. Dress the part
Dont show up for a movie date in a gown and high heels…that translates in our heads to High Maintainance…likewise don’t show up to dinner in cut off jeans and flip flops…male brain translation is “I wont dress up for you” or this date isnt important enough for you to actually ‘get ready’.”
3. Offer to split the check
Any man worth sh*t wont actually let you help him pay at least not on the first date…but any woman worth sh*t should OFFER to split the check.
4. Ascending Compensation
I have coined this phrase myself “Ascending Compensation”….this refers to the sexual attention we Men not only expect but actually REQUIRE when seeing someone. With each progressive date we think you like us more and more and consequentially our physical expectations increase. You women have to realise that our sexuality is very different from yours and builds up like PSI levels in an over inflated tire.., if it goes unchecked and unreleased for too long it can reach dangerous levels. YOU are the sole technicians for this simple pressure system…no one else can control it, not even us. Order Lobster and our eyes will widen. This is why #1 on this list is so important.
5. Act as IF
If you have hopes of becoming a girlfriend or wifey…please act as if you are a potential one. The stories I’ve heard would crack you up…one female friend of mine was puzzled as to why this guy she claims she liked never asked her out again…when I questioned her about the date she admitted to getting wasted drunk on the first date and wining up on other men at the club. Not exactly wifey material.
*Stay tuned the next 5 are more graphic and speak to once we’ve crossed the barrier from dating into sexual relationships.