Bonnie’s Top reason a Booty Call Fails

Editor’s Note: Hey guys, so after much negotiations I’ve gotten Bonnie to be a contributor and to also sign up for a part 2 of Bonnie No Clyde Dating Diaries. She’ll also remain a contributor to the site. I love this following post because this has happened to me on more than one occasion and Ive always wondered “Am I crazy or What made this negro think this way? ” Read more after the jump

Tonight on a very special Bonnie No Clyde…..
Hey guys, its not quite season 2 of the Bonnie show yet , but I told Mamachel that where the need exists I will definitely keep writing … Today’s installment is a little long but worth it.
Well last week Saturday, I met a guy, actually two, one my usual type and one my physical type, both have pros and cons but enuh we will work wid di ting. Anyway so guy A, my usual type we’ll call him UT. Nice looking, seems accomplished enough, seems grounded enough, and of course claims he has no kids. Now mark you a rat at Burger King could tell me he has no kids, I’m gonna give him a second look TRUST. I am really done with the step mommy life or at least I am trying hard to be.
Anyway we’ve been talking everyday back and forth , in hindsight shoulda known which man in their right mind is loyal to Arsenal but anyway , we’ve been talking everyday , he doesn’t say much about himself , and we’ve been joking about just which of us is an axe murderer , but then last night it took a turn , this mofo had the gall to invite me to his house , to talk and for a massage since my back was hurting me , *Edward Seaga Blink* , I know nothinggg about this man , for all I know the name he gave me isn’t his , so at first I thought he was joking , but then he said I would really like to see you tonight.
For one I don’t do last minute dates, and I am not here to preach but no woman should jump at a mans whim, cause if he wants to see you he’s gonna lock the date down give you enough time, so I said let me humour you where do you wanna see me, Him: At my place, Me: Where is that …this man who hesitated to tell me his fricking sign, HIS SIGN!!! Reel off the address like say me ask him who is the President of the United States.
Before I ended the convo I asked him, I said , what about me gives you the impression that you could take this bootycall approach with me ….the man say , No its not a bootycall it’s a spontaneous vibe… Bonnites mek me ask unu …me look like eeediat!!!!! ….. to bombo !
No matter how rough it gets or lonely it gets, I refuse I just refuse to be anybody’s fuck, my pucci isn’t Fort Knox, you can get it, he coulda gotten it, but you’re telling me you can’t even do the song and fricking dance for it??? So yes I cried last night, I cried for myself, for my heart and the never ending protection it needs , for its bondage in a tower because too many people would seek to hurt it and so in closing to my dear, one and only heart I dedicate the following. Sing along if you know it.

When the rain
Is blowing in your face
And the whole world
Is on your case
I could offer you
A warm embrace
To make you feel my love

I know you
Haven’t made
Your mind up yet
But I would never
Do you wrong
I’ve known it
From the moment
That we met
No doubt in my mind
Where you belong
I could make you happy
Make your dreams come true
Nothing that I wouldn’t do
Go to the ends
Of the Earth for you
To make you feel my love, To make you feel my love

and you all know the rest …*gathers heart fragments, heads to tower*

Eziekel 7 vs 27: I will deal with them according to their conduct, and by their own standards I will judge them.”

Bonnie

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