“It is a stroke of good fortune to find one who is worth seducing…most people rush ahead, become engaged or do other stupid things, & in a turn of the hand everything is over, and they know neither what they have won nor what they have lost” | soren kierkegaard
So…. Most of my twitter followers probably knew this one was coming…
Today just out of the blue I was feeling a tad bit “emo” and tweeted “I haven’t received flowers in the longest time, I miss those little things”. In a matter of minutes my mentions were in shambles, I had stirred up a hornets nest. Woman after woman retweeted my statement in agreement. And then one of my male friends asked me ” Oh you women still like those gestures?” < Cue radio silence> What the hell you mean, If I still like these things?!
He went on to ask his male followers when was the last time they bought a lady flowers then retweeted the answers each showed that months had passed by and most of them was for a family member. It was at this very moment I remembered Terrence J from 106 & Park asking if social media had killed romance. I sat back and thought, “Is romance really dead?” Rhatid.
Before I go into my dissection of sorts let’s try and determine what is romance? This is a hard thing to explain and although some men/women aren’t born with a romantic bone in their body I do believe they can learn. I had touched on the point that Chivalry might be dead in this post and also spoke on this new means of “dating” through the Blackberry in this post. But I have never really touched on is romance dead. Ok, so as we were, What is romance? I sit here stumped… I asked my sistren “what is romance?” She doesn’t know. I say “How can you want something if you don’t know what it is?” she replies, “I know it when I see it” . So I decided to think harder. The people want a definition! Here is my attempt: Romance is showing appreciation for a particular person that you may be involved or seek to be involved with. It cannot be measured and can be shown in grand or tiny gestures. In short romance is usually a spontaneous display of appreciation that will make your partner smile and get you some nookie.” Capiche?
Let’s get this straight, Men love romance as much as women believe me ladies. Have you ever ran a bath for your man when he got home from work? Do it, the result will be *cough* inspiring. But these days no one shows appreciation in relationships or when dating and so all fingers point to “Yes, romance is dead”. What people consider romance is if he comes to pick you up from your house instead of you meeting him at an event. Romance is seen as someone forking out copious amounts of cash to show “appreciation” . This is where we have fallen short. This focus on material goods is not showing appreciation nor is it romance. DO NOT get me wrong, I like pretty things as much as the next person BUT I’d prefer a man try and cook me a meal of all my favourite dishes than take me to an expensive restaurant where we can’t hear what he is saying or be truly intimate with him. In cooking that meal he’ll show two major things 1. He listens and knows what I like and 2. He’s TRYING (nothing beats a failure than a try)
Women in their strong roles today have started to view romance in disdain. They see it as being weak. Ask anyone of my friends I am a VERY strong woman but there is a time and place for everything. Hate to break it to you younger generation but romance is NOT a threesome. (sorry men I had to let that one go) It might be nice and adventurous but I dare you to show me a romantic threesome.
The long and short of it is, Romance is hard work, it means you have to get to know the person and their likes and dislikes and make and EXTRA EFFORT <- That is really what romance is. Yes it's nice if he meets you after work and go to the movies and pays for it all but one day surprise him and pay for everything and have all his fave snacks ready. Gentlemen you picking her up from work, bring her a single rose, that single rose could add extra minutes to that head time (I'm just saying). It's that extra effort that makes romance. This gives your partner bragging rights something that is very important in all relationships, no matter how cool a man plays it he is bragging to his homeboys and vice versa with women.
If you are going to be in a relationship where you are constantly counting what you do for another person without reciprocation then something is wrong. In the times I have been romantic it was to see that person smile. I find that a lot of men use the excuse that "Girls don't like that" to get out of being romantic. I have YET to meet a girl that does not like romance. She might not like flowers, candy, or something else specific, but you CAN'T tell me she doesn't like romance. So I say to both sexes get up off your lazy asses and try something romantic and if you're in a romance lacking relationship shame on you. I want that Gone with the Wind/ Casablanca romance . You betta sex me on a staircase Clark !!!! <-- Joking
Faith & Love ,
P.S. I don't celebrate Valentine's Day. There is NOTHING romantic about someone else telling my man to show me love. But that's just me
P.P.S. Shout out to @Mzarebel Facebook status for the stolen quote