Surviving Mother’s Day without a Mother

It’s that time of year again. When everyone is changing their blackberry display pics, facebook and twitter avatars to a picture of their mother. Work is sending out emails, everywhere is advertising Mother’s Day is this weekend. Sunday, tomorrow to be exact. It’s a beautiful day where you get to celebrate a mother’s love and how it has shaped you in your life. And although you show her love throughout the year, this one day you put ALL differences aside and tell her “ I appreciate and love you”. It’s a great day and one to be celebrated.
Unfortunately, I like many others have lost my mother and so Mother’s Day is another reminder of that loss. If you have just lost your mom let me break it to you straight “ It will not get any easier but you will live”.
My mother has been dead over a decade and although I have had many people step in and help raise me (step mother included), it’s just not the same. So as I sit in the passenger seat on my way to Ochi Rios the day before this “dreaded day” Ive decided to share my process that Ive gone through to get me through the day. If it helps one person I’m cool:
1. I’m a pretty brave chica but Mother’s day right after her death was hella hard. So I would take the day and keep to myself. No phone, no internet. One and two calls from well wishing friends but other than that I kept to myself.

2. As time progressed I used the day to remember her. Although she is dead I have a mother. I didn’t drop from the sky. So I would fill my mind with fond memories, look at pictures, speak to my grandmother who would tell me about whooping mommy ass over something and we would laugh. It was in these times I realized our similarities and understood why she grew me the way she did.

3. I’ve helped my friends celebrate their mothers. Attended dinners and parties and although there will be a sense of melancholy I have always been happy to be apart of that.

4. Wallow! Ive sat down in my couch, watched Oxygen, Lifetime ANYTHING that would give me a overdose of emotion, not bathe for the whole day, eat fattening food, bawl, laugh, bawl be emotional. Then dust myself off and go to work the next day.

5. Now, I’ve reached the stage where I am celebrating all my mothers. All my friends who have fed me, listened to me, given me advice, brought me medicine when I was sick. Scolded me when I was wrong and cried with me when I was hurt. Instead of crying or moping around about not having a mother I have learnt to be happy that I am blessed. From God-mothers to aunts to my friend’s parents who make sure I eat on a Sunday. To my step mother who has done her all and best. Mother’s day is a day to celebrate that special woman in your life who have made you who you are. I’m just extra special and have a whole heap of people to tell thank you.

Faith & Love

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